I have been sick and nauseous, weak and hurting for days, but haven't been able to really eat since my wife left me two months ago, save for a meal here and there. I've lost 25lbs and feel like dirt, violently nauseous all the time, fighting muscle spams and weakness. While trying to keep myself positive on the outside I have been awfully dreary on the inside.
Some people eat more when they are under stress and some people stop eating. Friends and professionals helped me navigate what of this illness was sadness and stress, and what of it was physiological.
Last Saturday I couldn't stay conscious in karate. I lost it after the first overheating episode and never fully recovered. How embarrassed and disheartened I was when I needed help to get to the bench. It took an hour or so to recover, but I walked out on my own two wobbly legs.
Monday was wild, a long workday followed by two fairly big medical appointments. I got to karate an hour and a half early, thinking, this is great! Time for a nap! Well, I woke up halfway through class. Whoops.
Not to miss out, I went in and took a seat on the bench. From the bench I can see a lot more than what I get to observe while working out. I am less preoccupied with staying conscious and I don't have to worry so much about not dislocating. I can just watch and learn. It's no fun being on the bench, but it is still karate time, still time for training, learning, thinking.
The low energy issue has gotten critical. I couldn't keep anything down and desperately needed energy. Tonight I finally got a proper medicine for the nausea I have been experiencing. Cautiously I ate a half of a peach and when that stayed down I went for a slice of pizza. Success! After two months I can finally eat a little bit!
You never know when the tables will turn.
Kiai!
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