Zebro Warrior Challenge: Two Weeks To Go

To revisit, here are my Zebro Warrior Challenge goals:

• Strength
• Work up to and sustain physiotherapy, 3 reps of 8, 3x/wk, with 1lb. weights
• Endurance
• 5 of each kata I know, two at full speed and power, 2x/wk outside of karate class
• Stamina
• Identify 3 easy energy, low/easy vomit foods that can sustain me when I am too sick to prepare meals
• Eat dinner every night before 7:30pm

I am holding strong and making progress physically.  I'm still tired but now it's because I'm doing more, since I have extra stamina.  For the last few months I've been in a medically intensive rehabilitation pilot program.  The results have been satisfying.  Now I can perform some activities of daily living (ADLs) more easily than before, and that's a good feeling.  It helps me separate from my soon-to-be ex-wife and the things she used to help with--also the things we used to fight about.

With physiotherapy I've gone far, but I haven't been working with 1lb. weights.  I decided it's too hard on my joints.  I still practice my kata, that's been great!  I feel more confident.  I've advanced to also practicing my bunkai, but that's more study than active practice.  Stamina has increased and I've actually gotten the vomit under control!  I eat small bits of food throughout the day and my guts seem to manage that better.  It's hard to eat dinner before 7:30pm but overall I am doing a good job with it.

Two weeks remain in this challenge and I'm very satisfied.  It feels good to have set and achieved some goals for myself.  To celebrate I bought myself a gym bag and a yoga mat.  I've been using a bag I bought 12 years ago that is too small, and working on the hard floor at home.  The new bag is my favourite shade of green and has a handle on the side which makes it much easier for me to carry and manipulate.  It was less than $20 so I went for it.  I'll have it for a long time.  Once I clean and sterilize my old bag as much as possible I'll use it to carry some extra medical supplies in my car during the temperate months, just for safety and convenience.

Some more good news, I got invited to grade at the end of this month!  This will be my 6-kyu grading, and I am feeling more confident about this test than I have about any other.  It is still humbling to get the invitation to grade, but I have worked extremely hard for the last three months in particular.

At the intermediate level fighting is starting to get more realistic.  I appreciate this but it's scary at the same time.  I'm not afraid of getting hit or hurt, I'm afraid of having a flashback to growing up with fairly regular violence.  Something tells me that if it hasn't happened yet it isn't going to happen, especially because I am aware of it and taking care of it.  But there's no good way to eat a s*** sandwich, and this is something I'm going to have to work through.

More than getting hurt, I worry about how a fellow karateka will feel if they accidentally hurt me.  My shoulder dislocated when a classmate executed a beautiful block (jodan age uke) and they are still sorry about it.  I want people to understand that I am practicing karate to learn self-defense just as they are, that the enemy on the street is not going to check and make sure I'm okay when they strike.  I know people are aware of this, but they are caring all the same.  Luckily they are starting to treat me like everyone else, which is giving me the opportunity to grow like everyone else.  We just deal with the injuries as they come along, and I think that's good.

I want to be as good as I can be, but I can only get as good as I can reach.  If I am not reaching far because of fear, then I will never learn my real limits, and never will I have the opportunity to break through those limits, whether real or perceived.

At this point I'm very happy with my progress.  The Zebro Warrior Challenge has been a great success for me and I look forward to producing another adventure for myself.