I was wrong and I've learned. We can't fix everything we break, but we can almost always take steps to set things right. Trying is always the right thing to do.
A few days ago I vented my frustration on social media:
"Another nurse today who had no idea what EDS was. At least she listened to me about the blood draw and didn't collapse my catheter. I missed my Physiotherapy appointment because it took too long to explain EDS to this nurse. Frustrated. Tired, too. I have to go to OT in a few minutes, but I'm exhausted. EDS Sucks."
She was one in a long line of nurses. I was frustrated because of all the trouble, and you can easily smell the stink of my depleted heart, stinking up my normally more humble attitude.
After venting to my friends, getting support from my sweetheart, reflecting on my experiences, and praying about it, I see now that because I had been worn down I did not have an "attitude of gratitude," which we practice in karate, especially with the kids.
I wish to be an example, someone good to whom they can always talk. That means I need to go back and do the right thing. My love for the children in our school runs unnaturally deep, especially because I haven't even been able to support the children's classes for a fortnight! Our children's instructor is a monument of faith, and I know they are in good hands. Sensei is always reminding the adults that our school is first and foremost dedicated to our youth. He reminds us that the most important thing we can do is set an example by constantly developing our character. (He's clearly made his point in my mind--ha!) When those kids even know who I am it puts me over the moon with joy. They're all great kids. We are a school focused on discipline, strength, and humility, and those are big words, even for adults to aspire to, so it's good to lead by example.
Back to the nurse: I did not give genuine thanks that she stayed so long, that she persisted until she got it, she was compassionate and genuinely sorry that she didn't know what to do, and she ultimately got the job done. On top of that, she heard my frustration and tried to comfort me from a kind place in her heart.
I was wrong. I value nurses so highly! I could have done better. I thanked her and told her that her job is very important, that I didn't blame her for not knowing EDS, that it wasn't her fault for being assigned to me, and that she did accomplish what she had come to do, which was very hard for me to get done. But my heart wasn't in my thanks the in way I'm accustomed to giving thanks.
Today I will contact her to tell her some shorter version of this, and to extend my thanks again, this time with an attitude of gratitude.
That's how I'll practice my karate today. God willing, I'll practice more in the dojo tonight!
Thank you for reading. If you have been a part of this EDS adventure, thank you for joining me in it.