Because of my hearing I stand front-and-center at the dojo, so I'm right in front of the mirror. A lot more of my body moves than anybody else's does. My skin flies right off of me and it grosses me out. Thanks, Classical EDS. But that doesn't stop me, and I hope your body issues don't stop you from following your dreams, either.
Lately I have been really tormented by my grief for my wife as we go through separation proceedings. I can't sleep, my work and chores are suffering,everything I do has an undertone of pain and confusion. I'm lucky that my sensei has walked beside me through this. At the very least I get to kick and punch until I am raining sweat.
This morning I wrote to him, worried that I have been hiding from my pain at the dojo. He suggested I see it as doing something constructive until I can handle the pain. It makes sense to see it that way, and keeps karate a positive thing I'm doing. I'm lucky to have it, too.
It was over a salad bar that I met my Sensei and asked if he would be my teacher. As I reflected on that today I brought him a salad, just because I am thankful. He surely understands by now what an impact he has had on my life, but it will be years before I am so great that I change entire lives just by doing what I love. First of all, it will take finding out what I love. Above all else at this time in my life, I love karate.
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