Yet.
Tonight was the first emotionally painful class. I watched my classmates grapple with one of the world's leaders. I didn't have anything to do, but naturally it wasn't acceptable to stand there. I worked on the kata and took out some of my frustration on a padded punching post. Rather than be angry I channeled that energy into getting focused.
Reminding myself that I was mostly dead all summer, I gave myself some kudos for showing up, and decided not to waste a moment of my welcome at the dojo. I love it there.
I just want to do karate all day! But I'm trying not to love it too much in case I get sick or hurt. Tonight's class reminded me of the reality that those things are inevitable. I know that just trying my best makes me as successful as I'm going to get. Sometimes that just isn't enough, which brings me to the fine line between determination and responsibility.
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