Poco a poco

I couldn't hear and couldn't keep up tonight. The stress, pain and exhaustion of living on my own are catching up to be. I found myself straining to understand the Senpai and got so confused that I took a seat on the bench to just observe from a distance and see if I could figure out what was going on. It was the right thing to do because I was becoming frustrated and feeling isolated. But that's just where the adventure began, and it gets better from here.

Rafael speaks very limited English but he has beautiful Spanish. He speaks quickly, though clearly, and it is usually easy to understand him because he demonstrates what he says. He also seems to understand without me ever having to have explained that if you repeat the word and use only as many words as you need, it's MUCH easier for me to hear. He has started coming to some of my classes to help out, and help is exactly what I needed.

It helps to think in another language when I can't hear because I fall mute when I get overwhelmed by the number of possible words I heard in English. Believe it or not, even American English is overbroad. So when I fall mute it helps to switch to any other language, where I have a less complicated set of words to work with.

Spanish speakers are far more animated, like Italians are. It takes many fewer words because we also move to communicate. The bonus here is that I can communicate a lot more while saying far less. Speech really just isn't my thing.

Rafael demonstrated first because I couldn't hear the instructions, and his demonstration took the frustration out of trying to listen. Then we started and he gave lots of encouragement, lots of correction. When he saw that I understood the principal he had me stop and rest. I don't know how he understood but he did. He is very much like Sensei Tony in that way, very aware of himself and of others, but always focused on how to help others.

At the end of the class I was tired but quite satisfied with the outcome. I don't know how to repay the love of all the people there or why I feel compelled to do so. I have said before that I should be focused on letting their help be part of my success, because my progress is their reward in its own way.